So far, we've had a cold but otherwise uneventful winter this year. Lots of "warnings" but none that ever come to pass. So it's been a bit boring here in the little town at the foot of the Blue Ridge. Oh, not for me. I have enough projects and plans in my head to keep me busy way beyond my expiration date.
Speaking of which, I have been more and more aware of just how fast time is passing these days. By the time my mom was my age she had made up her mind to stay in bed the rest of her life. A broken hip changed her life and kept her from ever walking again. Soon she was in a nursing home being cared for night and day. My dad spent his days at her bedside. Living in a senior apartment across the road from the "home" he dressed each morning and walked over to spend the day with her. It was a happy time for him. He enjoyed joking with the nursing staff and bringing in the treats that made mom happy. Mostly grapes and 7 up. Most days he ate lunch there with her and it was satisfying. The little apartment that was their home became just a stopping off place for Dad. His real life was there with Mom.
After a few years Dad wasn't doing so well. He really didn't have anyone taking care of him and his health was wavering. Occasionally he would push Mom across the road in a wheelchair and they would spend an afternoon at "home". But they were both beginning to realize this was not home anymore.
My sister was getting worn out from taking care of the paperwork and keeping a watchful eye on Mom's care as well as Dad. She had a growing family to take care of, too, and was working to help make ends meet. I spent as much time as I could with them. Flying back to Racine became a regular occurrence during the last years of their lives. While I was there, I would stay with my in laws and catch up with how things were with them as well. They were always a joy to visit and made me feel welcome during these visits.
I remember some special times that I spent with my parents. The first was before Dad was sick. He picked me up and drove me to the nursing home. Every day we went out to lunch together at a different place. It was such fun. Sometimes we'd be joined by my niece or my cousin and those memories will stay with me always. I think he was happy. Another time my daughter Cindy and her two little girls joined me in Racine. She flew from Florida, I flew from Virginia. We loved being together for that time. The little ones were such a joy especially for my Dad. He loved them. Erin and Heather, although very young, were perfect little great grandkids for my parents. Smiling and cuddling with these old folks they had never seen before was natural for them. I was so proud to have my parents together with my precious little ones.
Somehow, I always thought Dad would survive Mom and come and stay with us. He had so many talents and gifts that could be put to use. He loved gardening and would have been so happy with a yard and garden to tend - and we would have been so happy to have him here with us.
But this was not meant to be. The day came when Dad could no longer live in the apartment alone. My sister found a nursing home where the two of them could share a room and we felt comfortable moving him there. I went back and stayed with him for the first week he was settling in. He wasn't happy about leaving his home. And, surprisingly, Mom wasn't all that thrilled to have him as her roommate. They vied for attention when my sister's family would bring in their dog or when other visitors came by. It just wasn't the same.
I came to stay with them that week. I sat between them in the small room they shared. We watched TV and ate lunch together. I drove his car that spring week and brought it to the window of the nursing home. He was wheeled down to look at it and that seemed to satisfy him. He asked me how it drove and I told him it was great as always. It was a mess - inside and out. He just didn't have the strength or motivation to take care of the car during those last years. Eventually it was sold to be used by the police department as a surveillance vehicle. Dad would have liked that.
Every evening of that week, I went through their belongings and gathered pictures and little treasures that they had saved through the years. One thing I really enjoy is the typed program from their wedding reception. The type is faded and the creases are beginning to tear but the words are there. Songs and jokes and anecdotes about the "bride and groom". It's sweet to think of them that way. Young and vibrant - good looking too! They were so happy and so much in love.
In October we went back to Wisconsin for a last visit with Dad. He was in the hospital at this time and was very weak. I knew in my heart that Dad would be gone soon. I remember crying all the way across Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. Three months later we got the call that Dad had passed away. We drove through a huge snowstorm to get back there to say goodbye to Dad. The weather was so bad that there was no service at the cemetery. In fact, the ground was frozen so hard that his burial didn't take place until spring.
Mom followed Dad 21 months later and they now lay side by side sharing a single marker for their graves. Although Mom and Dad didn't leave much in worldly goods there was one gift that will affect us through eternity. Through the witness and prayers of my parents, I was led to a personal faith in Christ. Then my Wally, my children and grandchildren. One day we will all be together again thanks to the faithfulness and love of this dear couple.
Being confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6
