Ghosts of Christmas Past
It's now four days past Christmas - and I'm feeling so much happier than I did before Christmas. I've noticed this the past few years, now that I am retired and have time to notice things like that. In fact, there seems to be a cloud over my head the weeks before Christmas. Even the beautiful lights on the tree and music on the stereo cannot chase away the blues that come as that cloud approaches as we get closer and closer to this much loved holiday. I wonder......
When I think about this time of year as a child, I can remember only one Christmas while I was living at home. It was probably 1945. The war was over and the soldiers were coming home. My uncle, Dad's brother, came home after serving overseas to find that his wife had taken his young son and left him. He was devastated and had noplace to go. We took him in to live with us in our lower flat.
Uncle Ernie spent his nights in the bars and came home and slept all day. He was depressed and the mood changed in our little home and family. Finally, just before Christmas, Daddy asked him to move out. He told him he was setting a bad example for his two little girls and he needed to find a place of his own. I truly believe Uncle Ernie loved us and he readily agreed to leave.
Mom and Daddy grew up during the depression, and they were always very careful about their money. We never had more than one gift and a bowl of fruit and nuts on the dining room table which Santa left for us. However, we did get new sweaters and skirts to wear to the Christmas program at church and I remember being very happy about that. On Christmas eve, we left for church and the excitement was mounting. Our Sunday School teachers always gave us a small gift and the bag of candy and fruit we each received as we left the church was a once a year treat we loved!!!! As we walked home, we were laughing and singing and looking forward to Christmas morning.
When Daddy unlocked the door, we saw a sight we had never even dared to imagine. There were gifts all around the tree: A doll cradle and new dolls. An ironing board and iron just our size. I can't remember anything else but these things were forever engraved on my heart. My little sister and I ran from one thing to the next, giggling with excitement. Uncle Ernie had played Santa Claus.
I wonder if the blues that come this time of year are because that feeling will never be matched. As I observe the expensive and elaborate gifts that are given to the children around us, I know they will never ever feel that same joy in their hearts. The joy that two little girls experienced so long ago.
The true meaning of Christmas is that God loved us enough to send His precious Son to earth to live among us and then to die on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. This is a gift that can never be matched and the joy we experience as we realize the depth of God's love for us is truly more than any other gift could ever bring.
I pray I will bring this joy with me as I enter this New Year and that God will be praised and honored for His Gift - Jesus - the Gift that is beyond anything we could ever even dare to imagine!!
